The World’s Worst Date

Introduction: today’s prompt is the first sentence of this story, so I shan’t spoil it for you. If I’m honest, I’m not entirely pleased with the ending to this one, but as I’ve set myself this damn challenge, I don’t have time to sit and stew on it. So, it will have to go out as it is, and perhaps one day I’ll come up with something better and replace it. Sadly, that’s not today, and I think there is still enough in there to provide enjoyment.

‘What a jerk.’

‘I know, right? He’s a fucking arsehole.’

‘And he just left you there? No explanation.’

‘Yup, sitting in a busy bar like a twat. Text me the next day to say that his work had called.’

‘He didn’t consider saying goodbye to his date before rushing out the door?’

‘You’d think that would be the logical thing to do, wouldn’t you?’ Chris sighed, ‘ but I came out of the toilet, and he was gone.’

‘Fucking hell,’ James shook his head in disgust, ‘what a cunt, people like that should be shot.’

‘I can only assume I’m so boring that he didn’t want to stick around.’

‘Nah, fuck that, mate. Even if you spent the entire night describing the paint on your ceiling, that’s no excuse for being an arsehole. I’m telling you, folk like that don’t deserve to live. ‘

‘I don’t know, man. Maybe if everyone you go on a date with is an arsehole, you’re the one who is the arsehole? Is that a thing? It’s starting to feel like a thing.’

‘You’re not an arsehole.’ James slapped Chris on the shoulder as he said it, ‘well, not a massive arsehole anyway. You’re a good arsehole.’

Chris raised his eyebrows at that one, causing his friend to blush as he realised what he was saying.

‘You know what I mean.’

‘I’m not sure I do, but I appreciate the sentiment. You’ll come to my funeral if I die alone, right?’

‘Depends, when you going to have it?’

‘Hardy har har.’

‘I know, I’m fucking hilarious.’ James finished off his pint, ‘let’s get the fuck out of here, it’s packed, and I’ll murder someone if I have to wait twenty minutes for a drink.’

‘Where do you want to- oh shit, that’s him!’

‘What? Who?’ James glanced around, looking for someone he wouldn’t recognise even if he did see him.

‘The prick who left me! He’s over there. Is he on another fucking date? Christ, he fair goes through them, doesn’t he?’

‘Which one is he?’

‘The one at that table, black shirt.’

‘You went on a date with him?’

‘What? He seemed nice.’

‘Mate, you need someone to help you with this shit, he looks like a fucking rhino.’

Chris glared at his friend ‘fine, he’s not a great looker, but he was lovely on the internet!’

‘Jesus H Christ and his merry band of virgins, you are a twat.’

‘Oh piss off. Come on, let’s get out of here before he notices me.’

‘What, no. We can’t leave now. We’ve got to get him back.’

‘Get him back?’

‘Aye, for being a bellend. When else are you going to get this opportunity?’

‘What do you mean, though? What can we do?’

‘Go talk to him. I have a plan.’

‘What? No!’

‘Just do it, Chris.’

‘Do I not get to know the plan?’

‘Nope, it won’t be as funny if you do.’

‘I really don’t want to-‘

With a shove, James sent him in the direction of the table, and Chris found himself walking over, ‘Leo, how’s it going?’

The look of horror on the man’s face did cheer Chris up a bit. He was not happy to see the person he’d slipped out on just a few days previously. ‘Oh, hi Chris, what are you doing here?’

‘Out for a drink with a friend, how about you?’

‘Oh, well, em, I’m out with Sam here.’

‘Hi Sam, how are you?’ Chris turned towards him and stuck his hand out, finding that he was quite enjoying how uncomfortable he was making everyone.

‘I’m alright. It’s nice to meet you.’ The poor guy couldn’t have been much over twenty and was looking thoroughly baffled.

‘You know, I once went out with Leo, has he ever told you about that?’

As Chris turned towards his former date – desperate to see the horror on his face – the tip of a knife exploded out the front of Leo’s mouth, sending a spurt of blood into Chris’s face.

‘What the-‘

‘Run!’ James took off past him, sprinting towards the door as he laughed maniacally, but Chris didn’t follow, he’d locked eyes with Leo and was watching the life drain out of him before he slumped forward onto the table as Sam let out a scream.

The room around him exploded into chaos, as Chris stood, rooted to the spot, staring despondently at the dying body of the man who had left him behind.

‘Yea, that confirms it, worst date ever.’

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